The Millennial Helicopter Mom

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Born to teen parents, a father in and out of correctional institutions, consequently, a single mom left to raise me on her own. According to these statistics, well let’s not get too deep into the statistic because none of them applied to me!

My life did not go without hardships, but I never noticed the severity of life situations as a child. It took me marrying the guy of my dreams at twenty years young, moving across the country, having my first child, living in four different states in five years, having another child, and moving across the world to live in Italy, to finally realize that my life wasn’t that normal.

I did experience traumas that no child should ever experience causing PTSD that was recently identified. Knowing that my mom did the absolute best that she could to raise me, I am forever grateful and now the baton is passed for me to raise my little ones, and out of this, I present you, The Millennial Helicopter Mom.

I know about me pages typically highlight big accomplishments and how great you are, but I want you to understand who I am. I would have never imagined that I would be a stay-at-home mom. The cards were not set up in my favor statistics and society.

But here I am, a first-generational stay-at-home and homeschooling mom!

I am unlearning, relearning, and doing the best I can with confidence. I hope my story resonates with you and you can truly grasp who I am today and the woman I’m continuously becoming.

Uniquely Unorthodox

Contrary to popular belief, what’s usual, traditional, or accepted. That’s the definition of unorthodox. Unorthodox describes me perfectly. I believe all the rules are fake; so do you! There’s so much pressure that people encounter amongst trying to be what society says they’re supposed to be. I love to color outside the lines and unapologetically not fit into anyone’s box.

I don’t have to dress conservatively because I grew up in the bible belt state of Texas. I don’t have to attend a PWI to be considered to have an elite education. I can drop the f-bomb and still be an amazing mother. I can love the Dallas Cowboys and the Philadelphia Eagles. I can sing WAP by Cardi B and teach my children the ABCs in Spanish.

Do you get where I’m going here? Do you catch my drift?

DO YOU! DO YOU WITH CONFIDENCE!

BE YOURSELF! BE UNORTHODOX AF!

But on a lighter note, Who is Jamie Ray? I’m a Texas girl, born and raised, so yes, like all Texans, I believe Texas is the greatest state in America. I love sunsets over sunrises. I’m a plant-loving, macrame-hanging, fashionista with a plain jane swag. I love wearing cute workout clothes to not only work out but run my daily errands.

I’ll put my homemade chocolate chip cookies up against Rachel Ray & Martha Stewart any day. I’m a bomb ass wife and mother who takes to heart the meaning of, family over everything. I’m a Pinterest cooker and obviously a woman who doesn’t shy away from dropping a few curse words here and there.

I love genuinely supporting people and making an impact on lives through serving. I love love! I’m the biggest advocate for marriage and counseling. Kobe Bryant is the greatest basketball player of all time. Italy is my favorite place in the world because nothing compares to its wine culture and simplicity of life. Makeup isn’t my thing but I love skincare products and a bomb lip gloss.

I believe you teach people how to treat you and what is life without confidence. I believe simple is more. God is Love! God is Real! Yep, that’s me!

The Blueprint Of Being A Mom

Life in Texas was great. I loved Texas so much that I use to say I’ll never leave. I wanted my entire life to take place there but oh was God laughing at the plans I was making for myself.

My mother raised my brother and me. She still is truly the most hardworking, independent, brutally honest, tough love, loving, genuine person I know. She was a kid raising kids. We recently talked on the phones for hours and realized she was always in survival mode raising us so there was not a lot of time for her to teach a few things but she covered the basics.

She always provided us with the best experiences, driving hours to different states so we could play in basketball tournaments or just simply getting up on the weekend to take us to the library so I could rent Sheryl Swoops VCR tapes to perfect my shot. She did it on her own.

My mother, brother, and I (ariel tshirt).

She is the blueprint of so many principles and morals I hold near and dear to my heart. She paved the way for the type of mom I would become. But sure enough, as the circle of life continues, I wanted to do things a little differently; put my twist on this thing called parenting.

Pieces Of My Love Story And Military Life

In 2013, I married my best friend. We met as sophomores in high school and it's been up ever since. He is my favorite guy who loves to sing love songs whether they’re country music or R & B. He is the master of the grill and flattop using one of the best seasonings, all ending in the word shit.

He is a ravishing romantic, habitually hard-worker, impeccably inspirational, graciously good-looking guy, and a great listener. I could go on and on but to make a long story short; we married in 2013, had our first child in 2015, and our second child in 2017. We wasted no time expanding our family.

Husband (Lyndon), Daughter (Linden) Me (Jamie) Daughter (Jamie)

My husband serves in the United States Navy as a Naval Officer. With his career of choice comes a lot of perks and a few, but important cons.

In the nine years that we’ve been married we’ve lived in, Florida, Maryland, California, Italy, Texas, and Virginia, and heading to Hawaii soon. Now, with him being a sailor, we typically stay very close to a beach that gives us all the good vibes.

One thing I love about his career is as a young couple getting married, we immediately had to live far away from our families. This may sound crazy to some but for me, it was truly a blessing in disguise. It allowed us to build a foundation of only us. We relied on one another and counseling to iron out the first-year kinks of marriage… ok, and the other 8 years. But we didn’t have a family to run to when we disagreed. We only had us, deepening our bond and connection with one another!

Now one of the cons of this military life is you are constantly moving. Just when you are getting comfortable and thriving with your new tribe, it’s time to leave. Nothing can prepare you for this and I’m not sure many of us military spouses knew exactly what we signed up for marrying a service member.

As an adult, this way of life can be taxing, the constant uprooting, meeting new friends and leaving behind old ones every three years, the pack-outs and unpacking, deployments, underway, and much more, it’s a lot. No one truly understands this way of life until you’ve lived it.

The Decision To Homeschool

With the two little people, my husband and I raise, and in this lifestyle, we’ve decided to homeschool our children. They’ve been at home with me all their little lives. I believe that the choice to homeschool the girls is the best because I am the one consistent and constant thing in their life. All the moving, being the new kid at school, having to make new friends, and more; they don’t have to experience that.

One less thing on their little plates.

Transition and change aren’t easy for anyone.

My College Education

I went to college in a little town in Texas called Nacogdoches [nac-a-doches] about three and a half hours from my hometown. I attended Stephen F. Austin State University for two years, living normal college life and the last two years online. I obtained a bachelor’s degree in Child Development and Family Living with a minor in elementary education.

Not even two years later, I’d enroll at Grand Canyon University to begin my master’s, and the week after I enrolled, I found out I was pregnant again. Perfect timing right? It didn’t stop anything. I continued with my program receiving my Master’s in Secondary Education.

I give you this background of college because I always wanted to be a teacher, outside of going to the WNBA. Teaching is my God-given gift. I never stepped foot inside a school to call a class my own because the greatest gift, I’d never imagined, was my classroom being in my own home and being able to teach my scholars that God gave me.

The Meaning Of A Helicopter Mom

So, what does this helicopter mom mean? I’m glad you asked, now I looked up the perfect definition through Oxford, Wikipedia, Urban dictionary, and more; I truly laughed out loud. Let me give you my explanation of a helicopter mom.

She is concerned.

She is involved.

She cares.

She wants the best.

She is everywhere.

She is near.

She is far.

She is right where you need her to be.

She is lasered focused on what she wants for her children.

She sees everything.

She creates and puts you in environments you’ll thrive.

She is me!

Research says helicopter comes from the fact that parents hover overhead” just like helicopters. That is one part of the definition that I can agree with just a tad. I believe that at this age, I know what is best for my child so I will make all decisions. As they grow older, we can then begin to see what it is they feel is best.

I've seen a lot of things as a child, experienced the unfathomable, and as an adult with two daughters, I am going to do my best to ensure a successful path, filled with fun, loving, non-traumatic experiences, and paving the way for my girls by always being present.

I’ve been able to teach my children so much beyond what society tells us they need to know. I get to have real conversations about serious tops before a school exposes them without my permission. I love that there’s learning in a trip to the grocery, conflict with children at the playground, reading books or them reading to me, growing our vegetables and plants, and most importantly traveling and getting experiences outside the classroom.

I know it sounds cliché, but the world is truly our classroom.

The biggest one yet!

Wrapping Up Motherhood

There is no handbook on how to be a mother. Motherhood comes with many highs and lows, but we do the best we can. There’s no need to ever judge another person's way of parenting because we are all doing our best. I am confident in the life that God so graciously wrote out specifically for me. It’s bigger and greater than I ever could have imagined.

My story isn’t finished yet. I am still here with all my flaws looking to connect with other moms and build a community. Motherhood isn’t meant to be done alone. We all need a village to help teach, learn and protect.

Join my village by subscribing to my email or following me on Instagram.

Thank you for taking the time to learn a little more about me. I hope you enjoyed my story, and it gives you the confidence to raise your tribe on your terms, as you see fit; and uniquely unorthodox as it can be!